Happiness was the whole point of the 2018 Conference About Happiness. And what makes me happy? Music. Do you know what music can do for you? Music can enrich your soul, touch your mind in all the right places, and make you move beautifully. Whenever I’m down, the music picks me up.
Since I was a teenager, I was diagnosed with depression. I think it is a family thing. My great grandmother, I believe, had OCD – Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. They said she would clean the same spot ten times as if it was so dirty. My grandmother was Bipolar. She would be so happy today, and by tomorrow, China would be flying from the locked China Cabinet to my grandfather’s feet.
As for my mom, dad said she was very loving, as a mother and as a wife – when she was taking her meds. My mom was psychotic and would self-harm. One day, her self-harming caused my mom her life. I was thirteen at that time, and it hit me very hard. I was in a state of depression and didn’t want to stand up for a month, literally.
And so, my dad invited our school counselor to talk to me, and she brought me to the music fair. My nerves calmed down, and I was inspired for the first time in so long. She said that if ever I felt down and out, I should listen to my playlist and meditate.
My playlist includes songs by Snoh Aalegra, Daniel Caesar, Sabrina Claudio, Khalid, Raveena, and many more. When I feel like crying, I go to YouTube and watch Raveena’s “Sweet Time.” She sounds like an angel, and her words bring me calm:
“I’ve been meditating
I stopped medicating
I’m taking advice from the moon
I’m lost in melody, harmony, new family
They wrap me up in a cocoon.”
Whatever it is that made me feel so low, music gives me hope. Singers with great voices and the beautiful voices provide me that “feel” that life has more to offer; that I have to get up and move on. Music tells me that there is hope every day and that I can make it through.
So, it doesn’t matter if I have the “genes” or not. I just have to do my best, want to stay alive, listen to music, and beat it.