All of us are looking for happiness, but most of us look for it in the wrong places, in the wrong person, in the wrong perspective.
Finding Happiness In the Wrong Place
Can joy be found as you walk in the park, in your workplace, in your home, or in the things you possess?
On your first day on your job, you just love it, and everything seems perfect. You are happy you landed the job you have been dreaming of all your life. However, what happens when it does not meet your expectations? When your career was not that satisfying? When your boss is driving you crazy?
It is essential to do things you love doing, something that will fill you up, something that will give a sense of security and fulfillment. There must be self-love within that portion of your life. However, no perfect job will fit all your requirements. It is not fair to blame your unhappiness on your boss, on your work, and everyone else in your workplace. Deborah Khoshaba Psy.D. says, “Self-love is important to living well. It influences who you pick for a mate, the image you project at work, and how you cope with the problems in your life.”
Finding Joy In The Wrong Person
It just feels electrifying when you are in a new relationship. Every moment is a moment of joy and excitement. You look like the most inspired person in the world. No negativity can erase that smile on your face. However, what happens when that person you are in a relationship with lets you down? What if he breaks his promise? What if things came to worst? What if the words could hurt? What if you suddenly realized he did not reach your standards? What if he is no longer giving you goosebumps, there is no more fast heartbeat, and those electrifying feelings have disappeared? Remember, “harsh words are just as damaging whether they come from someone else or whether they come from you,” a licensed psychologist Cindy T. Graham, PhD said.
Don’t you think it is unfair to place that responsibility on your partner? To give you joy all the time, to make you happy, wherein the reality is that there is no perfect relationship because both of you are not perfect. You are both human, and you are bound to make mistakes and let each other down. It is not only him, but it can also be you.
Your relationship can be the source of your joy, but to let it dictate your happiness is just not right. Sometimes, there is no right or wrong person when you know how to forgive after a misunderstanding or an argument. When you allow yourself to look, listen, and embrace his flaws, your relationship becomes a sweeter source of your joy. “The most helpful definition of being positive is having hope and confidence in one’s ability to handle what’s tough, along with remembering that nothing is all negative all the time,” explains Jo Eckler, PsyD, a therapist in Austin, Texas.
How Can You Find Joy When You Look At It In the Wrong Perspective?
Making your happiness dependent on your circumstances is temporary happiness and can be depressing. However, true happiness that comes from faith in God is endless because God is everlasting.
Happiness and joy are not just about being Christian or what you do as a Christian, but your focus on Christ (Hebrews 12:2). So your happiness should not rely on your performance because if you do, you will end up a miserable Christian.
When Jesus is your focus, it no longer matters when things do not turn out as you planned or when things do not go your way.
You can always rise above the circumstances believing that God’s favor is in you. You can still be happy knowing that it is God’s will and that he has other plans for you. Knowing that He has a better plan for your life, takes away frustrations and sadness, and keep you hoping, encouraged and motivated.
Putting your focus on God helps you to love and forgive other people much more comfortable, allowing you to live a joyful and happier life, and allowing you to smile and appreciate even the littlest things. When your focus is on God, the wrong place, the wrong person, and the wrong perspective can become right because God can turn it to be.
Don’t let what or how much you have dictates your happiness, but how much you appreciate and enjoy what you have that matters be it your job, material things, or relationships. Everything that you have and everything that you are is a blessing from God.