Everyone at some point in their life might have had overwhelming feelings of depression and loneliness. This buildup of negative emotions can, in most of the cases, make one feel unappreciated or unworthy of praise. One can feel this way in relation to his or her family, close friends and even colleagues as well as higher officials at the work place.
Why Are These Thoughts Unhealthy For The Mind?
“Loneliness is an epidemic, We’re the most socially connected society, yet so many people experience extreme loneliness.” psychologist Amy Sullivan, PsyD. said. Many people who suffer from mental health problems such as depression or anxiety tend to have a negative personal view and feel as if no one cares about them anymore. One would usually find them blaming themselves even for uncontrollable events and tragic failings in life. Hence, in such cases criticism in the form of positive feedback can sometimes feel like hate speech against themselves.
Feeling unappreciated by people around you, whether it is a self-constructed illusion or a reality for someone, is hard to cope with. Generally the foremost reaction to such a situation is questioning your own self and your relation with that specific person. This then evolves in to a game of self-hate and confusion, deconstructing one’s views about his or her own self.
How To Overcome It?
We all as humans crave love and attention from others, especially from those who we believe are close to us. However, sometimes our expectations or good intentions are returned empty handed, whereas in other instances with harsh words. There are several ways, mentioned below, to cope with this.
- Value your work
It is important to realize your own self-worth before you ask others to do the same. It is incorrect to believe that you or the work you do is not good enough just because it has gone unnoticed by many. You are working hard and trying to make a difference in the little space you have been offered in this world. Value your efforts, however do not boost over them. You should know when you deserve a complement. The truth is that the moment you start believing in yourself and your potential, others will as well. Remember you are way more capable than others know of; all you need is a little bit of self-confidence and trust in your own capabilities.
2. Find likeminded people
Sometimes you may not receive the same appreciation from one person not because you are not good enough, but because they might inherently possess views that differ from you or have no information as well as interest in your field. For instance, a well-written poem may not be easily comprehended by everyone. Thus not everyone will be in the position of giving you valid suggestions. Hence, it is pertinent to find people who someone understand your work and you would be able to voice your ideas to them. “You know the ones—these are the people you know you can always call, text, or email when you need to feel a connection.” David Klow, a licensed therapist said.
3. The lesser you expect the better
“If you find yourself avoiding parties, work gatherings, or even your own friends and family, there may be a fear of judgment or underlying feelings of inadequacy.” That is okay, according to Dr. Marisa Alter, PsyD, a clinical psychologist. It is understandable that every human being is trying to find connections in this world and a place to build their support system. However, the extent of reliance on this support system must be carefully scrutinized. Sometimes we tend to expect too much from others. We involve these individuals in every life decision we make and hence, it is natural for us to seek their approval. One must understand that such wishful thinking may not always come true. The people you expect the most from may in some cases not consider you on the same footing as you do. Therefore, it is important to know where you stand in someone’s life, expect according and live your life based on what you like or dislike instead of what others think.